I am full. As in the cup overflows.
I have been eating too much. I have been having too much fun. I have been indulging in relationships that make me feel happy. The sun is shining and I feel waves of cool water washing over me. Everything seems to sparkle.
There is danger lurking in the shadows. Even though I feel like I'm healing very deep wounds, there is always a little danger of infection until the healing is complete. Are the scars formed yet, or is there a way to go? If I cling to the good feelings, will I forget to take care of the deepest part of the wound? There are people and relationships that are not simple, not so pleasant, but very very important, right at the heart of the wound. How do I take care of those?
I don't believe right now that there is anything festering - my kids, my family. I am doing my best in the mom department, and that is the most important role I play, the most important relationships I have. I find, though, that it would be easy to forget. I could become lulled by the waves and turn my attention away, adjust the priorities to exclude the harder things. And that would be a dirty shame.
So I'll go to work today and follow the flow...with a smile.
I don't understand this danger thing will you spell it out for me?
ReplyDeleteIf you promise not to screw with me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I can spell it out. I think I catch myself forgetting to make time for Sean and Jackie. I love working, especially when it is this much fun. Having kids was not my idea, and that puts a little sting on the usual doses of guilt a mom feels.
ReplyDeleteI've just walked off and left people behind. Is that going to bite me in the ass someday? It's lurking in the shadows...
Get it?
Thank you. You have done what other people haven't done this and have suffered for years because they didn't have the balls. Trust me 40 years to grow them. Don't worry about getting bit just look forward.
ReplyDeleteI had some smart remarks all ready to go but this just seems too serious and sincere. Nice post. I'll find another time and place for the smarting off. Soul searching and introspection are sometimes difficult and necessary - but as with all things: keep moderation in mind so you don't lose yourself.
ReplyDeleteHey, Steve, thanks.
ReplyDeleteYour wacky remarks are great for zip-stripping vocabulary - only when you actually know what words mean can you treat them the way you do and manage to come up with stuff that isn't nonsense. I must say I like the exercise even if your style is hard for me to embrace.
So please share your smart remarks at some point. And I'm a little relieved to see behind the mask. You dabbled in my pond of introspection, and I hope someday I will be able to dip a toe into random imagery because it sure doesn't just come out of me like it comes out of you, and it seems like it would be fun.
Thanks for posting...