I am a little lost on the blog these days.  Things look so different.  It will take me some time to be at home here again.  Silly me, I thought it was the writing that made me feel at home...but it's the surroundings, the visuals, as well.

So I'm wondering out loud - why do we tolerate things in public?  Why do we allow people who can't train their children to dine with the rest of us?  Why do we push people who smoke outside when screaming children are just as bad for a pleasant dining experience?  Used to be we could put smokers in a smoking section.  Can we put children in a children's section?  Or can we just expect people to train their children to behave appropriately in public?  Why are we always making concessions for bad behavior? 

I guess I don't think of my own behavior as an indication of my potential.  If I think my behavior is causing someone discomfort, I'm usually doing it on purpose - for example: Yes, I'm staring at you.  You are standing in my lawn with your dog, and he's taking a dump.  Yes, I am staring at you and I hope very much that it makes you uncomfortable.  If that isn't enough to get the point across, I have some really cool words I could put together to make my point more clear.   If, on the other hand, I am acting in a way that is annoying and I am unaware, I appreciate it when I am called to attention.  Such as:  No, sir, I was not aware that my absent-minded leg-bouncing was making your chair shake.  I am truly sorry, please forgive me and allow me to do better. 

See?  How can I improve on a behavior that I am so often unaware of without kind reminders?  How quickly I can make things better when I am made aware, and how effectively I can address other's needs when I am approachable and balanced enough to acknowledge my weakness in public.

I realize that there are times when sitations are beyond control.  But they can be few and far between.  Parents who find themselves consistently out of control in public should seek some guidance about how to conduct themselves and their children in places where bad behavior is offensive.  As a parent I knew I had to be willing to abort any plan I'd made in order to seize a teachable moment, because I was interested in what was best for my child.  If that moment required a strong reprimand in private, I would remove myself to private and deliver it.  If the moment required a strong reprimand in not-so-private, I would have to accept that a failure of the reprimand to produce the desired result might require me to leave a movie, a meal, a meeting.  My lack of planning should not result in another person's emergency, because I will also not let their lack of planning result in my emergency, either. 

I am a grown up, and my ability to have a pleasant dinner at a local restaurant that serves good food doesn't need to be reduced by the inability of that establishment to address the behavior of the other guests.  I will gladly frequent establishments that cater to my standards. 

OK, while this is a rough draft, I feel better and can now proceed to my lunch and back to work with a clearer head.

I hope.